Cross My Heart

musings of a professional dreamer

I’m big on honesty, I always have been, and I’ve been thinking about the concept a lot lately, particularly how much honesty I communicate to a world in which I want to live authentically. How much honesty is too much…?

I believe in honesty. Anyone who’s heard my songs can tell you that. And I want to live a full, authentic, enriched life. I want to live passionately, courageously, whole-heartedly, and it’s been interesting to think about how much of that fullness depends on how honest you are about it. It takes courage to do anything worthwhile… to live fully, to love at all, to risk loving completely, to follow your dreams, to be who you are, to be honest… and as with anything else of value, when it comes to honesty, there is a fine line between being brave and being foolish, because you can end up giving too much of yourself away, and possibly losing yourself in the process.

It’s important to define the delicate balances of honesty in the relationships that I cultivate, the songs that I write, the shows that I perform, and the life that I live. Finding the balance between living your truth, living every breath of your essence, but without sacrificing your integrity, without giving or risking too much, but enough… finding the balance of honesty on stage and serving the performance without risking too much of my personal story or losing too many pieces of myself to strangers… and finding the balance of honesty in songs while serving the song but respecting where it came from… there is a fine line that takes practice to understand, and courage to accept. I’m still finding those lines are a little blurred at times… but I’m learning.

For me, when it comes to anything of value in life, those things I hold of greatest importance to me are entirely worth the risk. Allowing your heart to love despite the heartbreak you may suffer, owning your truth because it’s yours and it matters, feeling the fear of uncertainty but believing that you can be and do everything you can dream you can… I am willing to risk the fragility of my heart for what my heart believes in. If it ends in heartbreak, I know that I will get up again because I’ve proved that I can. In no way is it easier to risk my heart simply because I know that, but I know it nonetheless. But if the risk brings whole-hearted living, if it realises a dream, if it tells a story that no one else was brave enough to tell and touches a life that needed to hear it, if the love I let myself believe in ends up being the love that believes in me… I believe that the epic potential always outweighs the risk. So I believe in honesty.

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© Shannon Hope 2017