What I’ve Learned

musings of a professional dreamer

I’ve learned that for all its excitement and adventure, life is scary as hell… I’ve learned that believing that you can be everything you want to be, and pursuing that passion, are two very different things… I’ve learned that for all its beautiful philosophy and romantic ideology, actually following your dreams is not always beautiful and romantic… I’ve learned that letting go of all security is probably the best thing you can do to challenge your boundaries and limitations… I’ve learned that I write songs that remind me what I believe in when I don’t feel like believing, and songs that remind me why I let myself feel when it hurts… I’ve learned that you can affect change in someone else’s life by simply sharing your fight… I’ve learned that affecting change can reignite your own fire and remind you why you started the battle in the first place… I’ve learned that the universe has a sense of humour, one you don’t always appreciate at the time… I’ve learned that timing is everything but it is not a scapegoat… I’ve learned that you have full control over the choices that you make for your life, and that there is no external force that drives that course but you… I’ve learned to live for now but that I need to balance that mindfulness very carefully to live the future I want to live… I’ve learned that a lot of the time, I’m unsure what I want that future to be… I’ve learned that I know more than I give myself credit for… I’ve learned that there are still so many things about the world and my place in it that I am undecided on… I’ve learned that nothing I know is absolute… I’ve learned that life is simple… I’ve learned that life is complicated… I’ve learned that my preconceived notions on life and love were based on who I thought I should be, but that person is not who I am… I’ve learned that I surprise myself on a regular basis… I’ve learned that everyone else is just as scared as I am… I’ve learned that people get stuck in the decisions they’ve made for their lives because they believe they have no choice to unmake them… I’ve learned that fear rules too many lives and compromises too many dreams… I’ve learned that much of life is ruled by a set of standards that are not necessarily standards I wish to be ruled by… I’ve learned that not everything that matters now will still matter a year from now… I’ve learned that what I fear now is not what I will fear in the future… I’ve learned that I will continue to make some of the same mistakes that I have always made, and that I need to accept that I am allowed to make them… I’ve learned that for all the mistakes I’ve made, falling in love and risking my heart was never one of them… I’ve learned that I will sacrifice even more than I thought for love… I’ve learned that I am willing to compromise more than I believed I ever would for the sake of my heart… I’ve learned that I care too much … I’ve learned that what I feel and what I know are very seldom the same… I’ve learned that I don’t give myself enough credit or patience… I’ve learned that I don’t give people enough credit or patience… I’ve learned that if you pretend to be everything you could be, you’ll eventually start believing yourself… I’ve learned that I remember too little of what I’ve learned… I’ve learned that I love wholeheartedly… I’ve learned that I need to breathe deeper… I’ve learned that I take things far too seriously and am far too hard on myself sometimes… I’ve learned that sometimes life is not fair… I’ve learned that trying to find a reason for life’s trials will not make them any easier… I’ve learned that I still have so much to learn.

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© Shannon Hope 2017