SHANNON HOPE

Behind the Smoke and Mirrors

Shannon Hope — Mon, 07 May 2012 13:00:21 +0000

I played in my dream space again last month, the Fugard Theatre Studio (more about that here), and it was an epic and beautiful two nights. But once the applause had faded, reality hit me square in the heart, and it hurt a little more to leave my dream space this time around because I so desperately want this to be the constant reality of what I do.

I am all about believing in the dream, and pursuing your passion, but for all my positive ramblings about dreaming bigger and being brave, this dream stuff is intense. It will be 3 years at the end of the month since I took the leap of faith, quit my day job and hit the road, and it’s been incredible, don’t get me wrong. I count myself incredibly lucky to live the life that I do. But for all the epic moments along the way, for the most part it is a constant uphill battle that tests my courage and commitment every step of the way.

I’m still independent. Not for want of trying, there is still no management or agent or record company pulling the strings behind the scenes, it’s still just me, and the constant fight is starting to wear me out. As much as I believe in what I’m doing and the music that I make, nothing I do seems to be enough to get enough of the right shows, to fill the seats regardless of venue, or to get the attention of the right people.

I can’t ignore how far I’ve come and what I have managed to achieve on my own, and I’m very proud of that. I’m also stubborn as hell and believe in this too much to ever give it up, so my head is down and I’m soldiering on as usual. But half way through playing a set in the corner of a noisy bar where no one’s really listening, after knowing what it feels like to live my dream performance for two fleeting nights in a venue like the Fugard Theatre, I cannot ignore that my heart aches. I compromise who I am as an artist more than I would ever admit (perception is everything afterall), and all the justification in the world (and I’ve heard and said it all) doesn’t make those gigs easier to play, whether it’s for exposure or money or that one new fan who might be listening in the shadows. I can justify all kinds of things with words and wax lyrical about dreams and self-belief, courage and passion. You can philosophise and try to explain away almost anything we face as human beings, but this grown up shit is hard as hell and no bumper sticker quotes make it any easier to deal. Knowing that those shows that I compromise myself for still make up the greater portion of my shows in a year, makes it harder to believe that I’m making any progress.

As a fulltime musician, I should surely be playing music most of the time. But I spend most of my days behind a computer planning tours, writing press releases, designing posters, desperately searching for worthwhile venues, submitting to festivals, updating profiles and gig listings, marketing, publishing, accounting, writing proposals and blogs (!), and trying to figure out how to make this all vaguely financially viable… when I should be writing songs and mastering my instruments. Granted, I enjoy a lot of that behind-the-scenes work (even the spreadsheets, ’cause I’m cool like that) and would never relinquish absolute control, but the last time I played the piano more than once in a week aside from during shows was in January.

Between the epic moments and those dream venues like the Fugard, there are so many moments where I catch myself yearning for a dream of the future, which goes against everything I have so vehemently stood for - living for now. But I carry on regardless. Because it’s who I am. Because this is all I want and I believe that it’s possible. And because every once in a while I get to live that dream, and I fall in love with music again, and I remember who I am and why I do this.

The Week Of Dreams

Shannon Hope — Wed, 02 May 2012 11:00:52 +0000

Fugard Theatre Studio - April 2012

Being treated like a Rockstar makes pretending to be a Rockstar a whole lot easier. Between hotel sponsorships, television appearances, grand pianos, sound and lighting crews, press interviews, camera crews, photographers, engraved name plaques on dressing room doors, and diva style welcome bouquets, I’m getting in some good practice. After all the dreaming and build-up and planning and rehearsal, it’s all over and feels like a surreal dream again… but dream week at The Fugard Theatre was exceedingly epic.

I was booked into the Holiday Inn Express for the week, which aside from making my week super comfortable and life a whole lot easier for me location-wise, added a little extra rock ‘n roll style to the whole experience. Despite my abhorrence for early mornings, the 5am call time at Expresso Show wasn’t actually as bad as I anticipated it being, and the show was an absolute blast (more about that here). Granted, I may have overdosed a little on the caffeine by lunch time in an over-zealous attempt to stay awake for the 16 hour work day, but that just added some extra buzz to an afternoon of press interviews and last minute setup for the main event the following day.

Cue dream…

The Fugard Theatre Studio is a dream space. I launched my second album there last year and it was a dream come true to perform on that stage. It’s perfect for what I do, for who I am, for what my music says, and for what I want my performances to be about, and it was thrilling to put another show together, to dream a little bigger, to script the next chapter in my story and prepare myself to share it. I feel more alive every time I walk onto that stage.

This time, I was joined on stage by Jeremy Douglas on acoustic guitar and backing vocals, and Tessa Johnson on cello, and they added such beautiful elements to the music. I met Jeremy while I was on tour in East London a few years ago and was bowled over by his voice, his songs, his genuine passion and his understated talent, and I swore I’d share a stage with him again. He has a sensitivity that you don’t see very often, and songs that break your heart in the best way possible. He’s going to do remarkable things, mark my words. I met Tessa only two weeks before the Fugard show. When I saw her owning the hell out of her cello on stage at a gig I popped into very last minute, I knew she’d add something beautiful to the show. And she truly did. That instrument makes me so emotional and speaks volumes within these songs, and she added so much beautiful magic to the story. Having performed solo for so long, it was beautiful to be able to say more than I can on my own and to explore the music a little more. I sincerely hope I get to do that more often.

I walked onto the perfect stage, played a Kawai grand piano lit to perfection against the most beautiful backdrop I can imagine, and lived my dream to a standing ovation that has made my heart shine. Again. It was all so beautiful and I can’t wait to relive it when the live videos are released. With huge thanks to the Fugard Theatre and their incredible crew, Kawai Pianos, Holiday Inn Express, Expresso Morning Show, Skylight Creative, Jeremy Douglas, Tessa Johnson, Jesse Kate Kramer, Iain Kaufmann, Juanita Ferreira, and Eastern Acoustics, I had an epic dream week. And it was an honour to share it with you.

Fugard Theatre Studio - April 2012

Expresso (Early) Morning Show

Shannon Hope — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 07:00:10 +0000

There are few things that I hate more than early mornings. They rank up there with lies and betrayal, and war and politics. And let’s be honest, nothing says rock ‘n roll less than setting your alarm for 4am. Thankfully I had TWO alarms on the day in question, one on my phone, and the other, a rather sympathetic wake-up call from Holiday Inn Express reception, just to make sure I didn’t snooze past my call time at the Expresso Morning Show on SABC 3. I take a while to warm up in the morning, but I was surprisingly bright and breezy before I’d even had my second cup of personality. The excitement of pre-Fugard epicness puts a spring in my step that I can’t ignore, and that was evident as I hit the ground running for a 16 hour marathon of a day that started with hair, make-up, soundcheck, lights, camera, action… all before the sun had even thought about rising.

Expresso was an absolute blast! The team working behind the scenes are far too chipper for so early in the morning, it’s not natural, but were an absolute dream to work with. I was interviewed by Katlego Maboe, and it was rad chatting to him between segments about all things music (he’s also a muso in case you didn’t know). I don’t even mind that he embarrassed me in the kitchen. I know better. Who can make an edible omelette in 2 minutes anyway!

Jokers and sore losers aside, it was epic fun and I’ve been blown away by the response I’ve received to the songs. It means more than I can say to hear stories from strangers about how this music that means so much to me has moved them in some way, and it makes this whole journey, for all its highs and lows, an entirely worthwhile fight. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for listening.

As it turns out, early mornings can be rock ‘n roll. Who knew?!

The Sound of Nostalgia, Pt. II (Fetish)

Shannon Hope — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 11:00:09 +0000

It’s quite fitting that I would watch Fetish performing live for the first time in over a decade, only days before I walk back into my dream performance space, because they epitomize everything I love about music, and their songs define so many vivid memories of my early 20-something years. Years later I still hear so many echoes of things I’d forgotten, and truths that remind me of what I’ve come from.

Despite being my favourite band to ever come out of South Africa, I only remember ever seeing them perform live once, at the Bat Centre in Durban in the late 90s, so watching one of my idols float around the stage again, seeing moments etched across her face that I can only appreciate now that I know what it’s really like to be there… I was speechless for days afterwards, but it put me in exactly the right headspace for the week of dreams that followed. There is something so unassuming about their performance and about the music itself. It tells you everything you need to know but holds something back, leaving you slightly unsettled in a way that you can’t quite understand. It’s epic.

And there’s a new album coming soon…

The Sound of Nostalgia, Pt. I (Henry Ate)

Shannon Hope — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 16:30:34 +0000

Music is a powerful thing. It speaks to your emotions, it translates your reality into something you can understand, it connects you to the world, to experience, to people… and it transports you back in time. I felt like I could burst into tears the second I heard that unmistakable voice again, as I was whisked back to a time of beautiful, simple naivety. From the second she started singing, I was 18 again, standing in the front row at Crowded House in ‘Maritzburg staring up at Karma from Henry Ate, thinking “I want to be just like you.” I wanted it with everything I was, and at the same time, there was such a big part of me that doubted it was possible, which has allowed for far too much compromise along the way. But it’s part of the journey. A decade later, watching one of my early idols stand on a stage I’ve now played on, I feel almost like I’ve come full circle. Looking back at that innocent, naïve kid who dreamed bigger than she ever thought was possible, who took a decade to realise that it’s more possible than she could have dreamed, who listened to those songs hoping that one day she’d find the courage to be that honest… I’m proud of my story and what it’s made me, and relieved that that naïve kid found her voice and the strength to use it.

What I’ve Learned

Shannon Hope — Sun, 25 Mar 2012 12:00:38 +0000

I’ve learned that for all its excitement and adventure, life is scary as hell… I’ve learned that believing that you can be everything you want to be, and pursuing that passion, are two very different things… I’ve learned that for all its beautiful philosophy and romantic ideology, actually following your dreams is not always beautiful and romantic… I’ve learned that letting go of all security is probably the best thing you can do to challenge your boundaries and limitations… I’ve learned that I write songs that remind me what I believe in when I don’t feel like believing, and songs that remind me why I let myself feel when it hurts… I’ve learned that you can affect change in someone else’s life by simply sharing your fight… I’ve learned that affecting change can reignite your own fire and remind you why you started the battle in the first place… I’ve learned that the universe has a sense of humour, one you don’t always appreciate at the time… I’ve learned that timing is everything but it is not a scapegoat… I’ve learned that you have full control over the choices that you make for your life, and that there is no external force that drives that course but you… I’ve learned to live for now but that I need to balance that mindfulness very carefully to live the future I want to live… I’ve learned that a lot of the time, I’m unsure what I want that future to be… I’ve learned that I know more than I give myself credit for… I’ve learned that there are still so many things about the world and my place in it that I am undecided on… I’ve learned that nothing I know is absolute… I’ve learned that life is simple… I’ve learned that life is complicated… I’ve learned that my preconceived notions on life and love were based on who I thought I should be, but that person is not who I am… I’ve learned that I surprise myself on a regular basis… I’ve learned that everyone else is just as scared as I am… I’ve learned that people get stuck in the decisions they’ve made for their lives because they believe they have no choice to unmake them… I’ve learned that fear rules too many lives and compromises too many dreams… I’ve learned that much of life is ruled by a set of standards that are not necessarily standards I wish to be ruled by… I’ve learned that not everything that matters now will still matter a year from now… I’ve learned that what I fear now is not what I will fear in the future… I’ve learned that I will continue to make some of the same mistakes that I have always made, and that I need to accept that I am allowed to make them… I’ve learned that for all the mistakes I’ve made, falling in love and risking my heart was never one of them… I’ve learned that I will sacrifice even more than I thought for love… I’ve learned that I am willing to compromise more than I believed I ever would for the sake of my heart… I’ve learned that I care too much … I’ve learned that what I feel and what I know are very seldom the same… I’ve learned that I don’t give myself enough credit or patience… I’ve learned that I don’t give people enough credit or patience… I’ve learned that if you pretend to be everything you could be, you’ll eventually start believing yourself… I’ve learned that I remember too little of what I’ve learned… I’ve learned that I love wholeheartedly… I’ve learned that I need to breathe deeper… I’ve learned that I take things far too seriously and am far too hard on myself sometimes… I’ve learned that sometimes life is not fair… I’ve learned that trying to find a reason for life’s trials will not make them any easier… I’ve learned that I still have so much to learn.

Once More With Feeling

Shannon Hope — Sat, 24 Mar 2012 06:00:08 +0000

I celebrated last year’s release of ‘Fight A New Day’ in my dream space, The Fugard Theatre Studio, and am thrilled to have the opportunity to dream a little bigger for my return performances there in April with two shows, a live DVD recording, and a little more magic…

BalconyTV: Music With A View

Shannon Hope — Fri, 23 Mar 2012 12:00:32 +0000

I popped in to the BalconyTV Johannesburg studio when I was in Gauteng recently to do an insert for the online daily music show. Operating from locations across the world, the show was founded in Dublin and has featured the likes of Mumford & Sons, The Script, The Temper Trap, and Nouvelle Vague. Shadowclub were the first SA band featured when the channel launched locally recently and they are fast building an incredible portfolio of local artists. You should definitely keep a mouse click on that dial!

In Studio with Jim Faulds, Pt.2

Shannon Hope — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 12:00:55 +0000

I’ve been doing some session work over the past few months on an album by singer-songwriter, Jim Faulds, who I met at one of my shows in Cape Town last year. Aside from just digging the music, it’s been so great to be back in studio – one of my absolute favourite places to be.

It’s also been refreshing to be involved in something musically, without thinking about the business end goal. Having been so preoccupied with building a sustainable career out of my music, it’s so cool to just play music for a change, without thinking about how to sell it or package it or brand it or publish it or make it commercially viable. It’s just music. Blissful.

It’s been an absolute pleasure to work with the team involved in this album, and I’m really looking forward to hearing the final product. In the meantime, here’s a little taste of what we’ve been up to.

Dreams In 3D

Shannon Hope — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 15:00:31 +0000

Last year I launched my second album, Fight A New Day, in my dream space at The Fugard Theatre. There are no words to fully describe what it felt like to live my dream on that stage, with that piano, in that beautifully epic space, but there are pictures, and now video, that come pretty close to telling some of the story. I cannot wait to be back on that stage next month and am thrilled to be dreaming even bigger (more about that here).

With huge thanks to The Fugard Theatre and Jesse Kate Kramer for the footage, and Teight Productions for putting it all together, here are two live performance videos from an epic dream-come-true night. The first is the title track from my second album, ‘Fight A New Day’, and the second is the slightly tongue-in-cheek ‘Why I Bother’, a special dedication to someone I used to know…